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Book List

All books can be found at your local bookstore, internet bookstores (such as amazon.com), or at www.loveandlogic.com when noted.

For Parents Of All Ages
For Parents Of Girls
For Parents Of Boys
For Parents Of Adolescents
For Kids
For Teachers

For Parents Of All Ages

Benson, Peter, Ph.D. What Kids Need to Succeed. Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1995.

Kids who succeed have specific assets in their lives - not financial assets but developmental assets including family support, a caring neighboorhood, self-esteem, and resistance skills. The more assets young people have, the less likely they are to lose their way and get in trouble. Based on groundbreaking nationwide studies, this book spells out 40 assets - good things every young person needs. More than 900 specific, concrete suggestions help you build assets at home, at school, in the community, and in the congregration.

Cline, Foster, M.D. and Fay, Jim. Parenting With Love and Logic - Teaching Children Responsibility.
Colorado Springs, Colorado: Pinion Press, 1990.

As parents, you have only a few years to prepare your children for a world that requires responsibility and maturity for survival. So what do you do? Hover over your kids so that they never make mistakes? Drill them so they'll remember the important principles when they're on their own? Tear your hair out, wondering if teaching them responsibility is anything but a battle of wills? According to Jim Fay, one of America's top educational consultants, and Dr. Foster Cline, a trend-setting child and adult psychiatrist, parents who try to ensure their children's success often raise unsuccessful kids. Because responsibility is like anything else - it has to be learned through practice. Kids learn the best lessons when they're given a task and allowed to make their own choices - and to fail - while the cost of failure is still small. So if you want to raise kids who are self-confident, motivated and ready for the real world, take advantage of this win-win approach to parenting. Your kids will win because they'll learn responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems. And you'll win because you'll establish healthy control - without resorting to anger, threats, nagging, or exhausting power struggles. To purchase, call 1-800-338-4065 or visit www.loveandlogic.com.

Note from the authors: "The previous position we outlined on spanking in the book, "Parenting With Love and Logic," unfortunately, was our thinking as of 1990 when the book was written. Since then our knowledge has grown. The world we live in changed, and we have developed new techniques that are far more effective than spanking." To read the complete document "Love and Logic® Position Paper on the Use of Spanking as a Disciplinary Tool", please go to http://www.loveandlogic.com/Pages/0401spanking.html

Faber, Adele, and Mazlish, Elaine. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. New York, New York: Avon Books, 1980, 1999.

This book will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children - and more supportive of yourself. The down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Their methods of communication - illustrated with cartoons and enhanced with stories from parents - offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to 1) cope with your child's negative feelings - frustration, disappointment, anger, etc., 2) express your anger without being hurtful, 3) engage your child's willing cooperation, 4) set firm limits and still maintain goodwilll, 5) use alternatives to punishment, 6) resolve family conflicts peacefully.

This book supports principles taught in the "Becoming A Love And Logic Parent®" classes nicely and gives more ideas for giving choices, problem-solving, and allowing children to learn from their mistakes. Especially of note are Chapter 1, "Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings", which gives more ideas for the most important Love and Logic skill, empathy, and Chapter 5, "Praise", which further illustrates the how and why of giving descriptive praise.

For Parents Of Girls

Pipher, Mary, Ph. D. Reviving Ophelia - Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.
New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1994.

Dr. Mary Pipher, a psychologist who has worked with teens for more than a decade, carefully examines the many pressures of adolescence and why it is much more difficult to grow up today than it was even a few years ago. She finds that in spite of the women's movement, which has empowered adult women in some ways, teenage girls are having a harder time than ever before because of higher levels of violence and sexism in our society. Her fascinating stories strikingly illustrate how girls face pressure from peers and our culture to abandon their true selves to conform to an "image" of what girls "should" be. These pressures to look and behave in certain ways in order to be accepted, in addition to girls losing their selves, can lead to the current crises of adolescence - suicide attempts, dropping out of school, running away from home, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancies, eating disorders, and more. Read carefully the last three chapters, where Dr. Pipher gives success stories of girls who, despite the pain, came through adolescence with more strength, focus and maturity. She also offers a wealth of information as to what we as parents can do to help our girls. Even if your daughter is not in "crisis", this book will help you toward a deeper understanding of what it is like to be an adolescent in today's world.

Simmons, Rachael. Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1994.

In recent years, increasing attention has been paid to bullying among adolescents, with an emphasis on the aggressive behavior of boys. This book looks at types of bullying behavior that the author found to be more common among girls. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict, girls develop what Simmons calls a "hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression" which is subtle and more difficult to spot or control than physical aggression. The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues some of these acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, notepassing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, the fashion police, and being nice in public/mean in private. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, and prescribes clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to resist them.

 

Wiseman, Rosalind. Queen Bees and Wannabees. New York: Crown Publishers, 2002.

Queen Bees and Wannabees takes you inside the secret world of girls' friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In the book, Wiseman discusses: 1) Queen Bees, Wannabees, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself, 2) girls' power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them, 3) good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation, 4) Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, "Check Your Baggage", and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter, 5) related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter.

 

For Parents of Boys

Gurian, Michael. The Good Son: Shaping The Moral Development Of Our Boys and Young Men.

Gurian, one of today's premier writers on the subject of male development, moves beyond the realm of sociological and psychological analysis to provide a timely and practical parenting guide. Focusing specifically on the subject of moral development, a matter of hot debate in the wake of such tragedies as the Columbine High School shooting, Gurian writes from his own experience as a family therapist. Citing an "increase in ethical numbness, moral distraction, and spiritual emptiness among boys and young men," he examines the roots of potential problems, such as the abandonment of our children's moral development to "potentially toxic" visual media and then lays out a well-organized blueprint for ushering boys into adulthood. Gurian discusses such topics as biological and neurological development as well as building spiritual life and dealing with media influence (for example, he notes that a boy of nine or ten should not "see images he cannot or should not experience with his own body and soul at this time in his life"). Gurian concludes with a list of age-appropriate books and movies that "stimulate moral growth in boys." Parents and caregivers will welcome the direction and reassurance of this outstanding book in their efforts to guide boys "toward loving, wise, and responsible manhood, the compassionate life."

Pollack, William S. Ph. D. Real Boys Workbook. New York: Villard, 2001.

Dr. William Pollack, clinical psychologist and author of Real Boys and Real Boys' Voices continues his fight against dangerous gender stereotypes. He aims to crack the "boy code" (basically, society's unfair assumption that all boys are testosterone-driven animals who must convey machoism at all costs) by getting readers to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and habitual responses. Designed to stand on its own, Real Boys Workbook revisits material covered in Pollack's other books: spot-on anecdotes about boys and their parents, boys suppressing emotions, boys and sports, anger and aggression in boys, bullies and troublemakers, boys and drugs, boys and school, plus a humbling dose of their loving qualities. In addition, it provides a broad range of open-ended questions to lead well-intentioned readers toward a path of more constructive behavior.

 

For Parents Of Adolescents

Bradley, Michael J., Ed. D. Yes, Your Teen is Crazy: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind.. Gig Harbor, Washington: Harbor Press, 2002.

Part 1 focuses on the adolescent. In chapter 1, Bradley discusses the new brain research and what it shows about what is going on in the adolescent brain. Part 2 focuses on parents - understanding your role and accepting your challenge. Part 3 discusses field-testing strategies for effectively parenting your adolescent.

Haskins, Diana. Parent as Coach: Helping Your Teen Build a Life of Confidence, Courage and Compassion. Hara Publishing Group, 2001.

Teaches parents the seven ways to build a positive relationship with your teen. The seven ways consist of Respect, Listen, Understand, Appreciate, Support, Responsibility, and Independence.

Riera, Michael J., Ed. D. Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers. Berkeley, California: Celestial Arts, 1995.

In the first section of the book, Michael Riera begins by discussing the parent-adolescent relationship. He then covers in subsequent chapters the specific issues/problems facing teens and ways for parents to address them in a collaborative/cooperative way. Riera offers a fresh translation of adolescence, asserting that this period of a child's growth is too often misunderstood as a phase to be dreaded instead of enjoyed. The author's uncommon appreciation for this special developmental stage of life via his unpatronizing approach to teenagers sets this book far and above the rest.

Uncommon sense means: 1) resist giving advice, even when your teenager asks for it, 2) forget heart-to-heart talks; communicate indirectly, 3) give your kid time to decompress after a long, hard day, 4) let your teenager brood, 5) embrace estrangement, 6) expect inconsistency, 7) let your kid do some of the worrying, 8) finally, relax, and don't take it personally!

For Kids

Bradley, Michael J., Ed. D. Yes Your Parents Are Crazy: A Teen Survival Guide. 2004.

In this new companion book to Yes Your Teen Is Crazy!, teen psychologist Michael Bradley turns the tables, talking to teens about parents-why adults behave the way they do, about the pressures teens face, ideas for how they can handle the pressures, how it makes their parents crazy as well, how to handle their parents and other adults in life's confusing and difficult situations, and how they can maintain a relationship with their parents as they move through the teen years.

Riera, Mike, Ph. D. Surviving High School. Berkeley, California: Celestial Arts, 1997.

In Surviving High School, counselor Mike Riera, Ph. D., who has worked with students for over nineteen years, speaks directly to students about the situations and changes they will face both during and immediately after high school. Interspersed with Mike's down-to-earth, practical guidance are the words of teens who offer their own points of view and experiences with the issues facing high school students, including: social and romantic relationships, physical growth, home life and parental relationships, emotional changes, subject aid students in developing their own spirit and install critical-thinking and decision-making skills.

For Teachers

Fay, Jim and Funk, David. Teaching With Love and Logic. Golden, Colorado: The Love and Logic Press, inc., 1995.

Classroom management just got easier. If you'd like to spend more time teaching and less time disciplining students, you need the practical techniques you'll find contained in Teaching With Love And Logic. This book is an essential resource for every teacher searching for new ways to gain student cooperation and for more positive discipline techniques. The Love and Logic techniques: 1) put teachers back in control of the classroom, 2) result in students who are internalized in the discipline rather than dependent upon external controls, 3) raise the level of student responsibility, 4) teach students to think for themselves, 5) prepare students to function effectively in a world filled with temptations, decisions, and consequences, 6) return a teacher's joy of teaching.

To purchase, call 1-800-338-4065 or visit www.loveandlogic.com.

DISCLAIMER: This book list is intended as a public service only and not as a specific endorsement of the books. Our intention is to list several of the more recent publications on parenting in one place, with enough descriptive information that you may make an informed coice. These books are listed with the understanding that FoothillsParentingClasses.com is not providing psychological, medical, or other professional counseling services, and is not a substitute for said services. It is recommended that the services of a competent professional be obtained if the expert advice of counseling is required. Please feel free to contact the licensed mental health professionals listed on our web site who are also facilitators, if you are seeking professional help.

 


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